Dos and Don’ts of Talking to a Person who is Looking for a Job

If a friend approaches you trying to vent about his/her frustrating job search, keep this in mind:

dos (there are only three, especially during the recession):

1. A real contact – not an email or a phone number but an introduction.
2. A real lead – again not a job listing but an introductory conversation with a hiring manager looking for an employee.
3. Yes, money or an actual job offer, meaning you are offering your friend cash or a paid gig.

don’ts (there way too many, let’s list some):

1. Please don’t tell your friend that there is a new hot industry that is poised to take advantage of the Obama administration, global warming/cooling, baby boomer retirements, etc. By the time a trend is obvious, it is already too late for most. And if you think you really know the next trend you are no better than a financial adviser circa 2007.
2. Please don’t insult your friend by telling them about Craigslist, LinkedIn, Monster, etc. If your friend never heard of those they don’t deserve a job anyway.
3. Please don’t tell you friend to move to a different country or a different town. The decoupling theory lasted for about four months. If there is a place with a better economic climate, the emotional and financial costs of the move are likely to outweigh the benefits of the change.
4. Please don’t forward to your friend a job posted on a local Elks Club list. The actual chance of finding a job via a forwarded email is less than a chance of being struck by a lighting.

psychology (to a job seeker):

In my recent conversation with an owner of a non profit I have been told that when he pitched his idea to donors, the amount of money they offered was in inverse proportion to the advice. People are compassionate creatures, when they feel they can’t really help they start offering advice profusely. So less they can help more they are inclined to offer an advice. Be patient and understand the predicament of the adviser, likely a sign of powerlessness (even impotence), please be compassionate and try not getting overly annoyed.

and finally the advice (to a someone who is being asked to help):

When a friend approaches you with a grievance, complaint or a rant, or actually asking for help, they are looking for understanding, not an outcome or even an income. It is likely that your friend is isolated when out of a job or worse, out of their mind, stuck in a dead end job. Why not share a drink or a meal and listen without feeling any pressure to perform?

Tagged as: economy, internet, jobs, marketing, psychology, recession