Baruch Thaler asked me if I “seriously” have any positive suggestion for the Chulent. Seriously:
- Hold the event at normal hours of an evening so not only unemployed and homeless are in attendance.
- Get rid of the mad Carpathian midget clown who is erroneously identified as “Russian”. Instead hire appropriately clad Thai hostesses.
- Get rid of all the Satmar misfits (AKA Yolies). So the they don’t feel completely left out, let them be the bouncers.
- Get rid of anyone of Hungarian extraction, or anyone who lives within a 4 mile radius from the China Glatt on 13th Ave. (Yitzchok can grandfather his admission).
- Hold the event at a place that has a legit liquor license instead of abandoned shules full of old perfumed doilies boxes.
- Set the priorities by having the content portion of the event at the end of the program. If a person reads his speech or has nothing new to say immediately pelt him or her with rotten kishke. This will take care of the content.
- No mood enhancers, they help you to forget while the purpose of the Chulent 2.0 should be to remember and get really, really angry. The only way to have a creative environment.
- Eating vegetarian cholent is like having a tofu burger, for real. Let’s not make a mockery of the sacred dish! Make this No.1.
It’s a start?
Further reading: