I would like to return to Nassim Taleb’s aphorisms:
- “You can be certain that a person has the means, but not the will, to help you when he says – “there is nothing else I can do” … and you can be certain that a person has neither means nor will to help you when he says – “I am here to help”.
- “We are most motivated to help those who do need us the least”
About the second aphorism. Recently I stumbled upon a pattern. When I asked several donor whales why do they keep wasting money on X, all amazingly said the same – “but he already done so much…” But of course, he has access to more money than you and your sponsors would ever see. So what is going on?
If you come for an interview, the worst thing you can do is to let the employer sense that you actually want or NEED the job. The worst thing a woman can do to a man is to let him feel that she is actually interested. Same works with charities, people instinctively seek someone who needs them the least and then beg them to accept the shekels. Hence the recommendation to avoid a weakness, not to be too needy when asking for things. Few people can actually fake it and since the success and failure are often cumulative (see above) it breeds the existential despair gap.
A related aside. I was listening to some radio sports show last week. They spoke about Brett Farve and wondered why is he so popular while his stats are actually mediocre. The answer is that he won a Superbowl, significantly he won early in his career and the aura of success lasted him even after his progressive stats declined. Similarly there are many quarterbacks with superior stats who never won a Superbowl (by chance or luck) and no one ever heard of them.
This is one of the reasons why the psychopaths are often recklessly succesful. They can completely impersonate the invincible, lucky, effortless vibe that people seem to crave so gluttonously. People assume those things are viral. A crazy head start helps.
photo via flickr/bassikgrooove
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
So you’re saying I should try to act as if I consider the job I am applying for to be beneath me or unnecessary? I’m a fairly talented actor and could probably pull that off if I thought it would help. It seems counterintuitive, though. Of course, I never understood why women flocked to men who seemed the most unappreciative of the attention. Don’t people value sincerity and enthusiasm? I would think that a strong desire to work immediately would be a positive trait in a potential hire, but then again I’ve never been on the other side of the desk.
If you can pull it off, act with respect for the job, but have the confidence to walk away with no regrets. But it’s not just acting. People can feel it, if its for real.